Dancing with Opposites

Infinite possibilities for inner balance

Dear Reader

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Thank you,

Ann

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Greeting Sunny Optimists buddies,

I hope you had a cosy time last week and are taking care of yourself as we move into the darker nights. I so enjoyed being by the fire last time. I appreciate the spaciousness this gave me for personal reflection. I hope you had time to refresh and renew, too. It is so important to nurture ourselves in these times.

Sometimes we can get stuck in resisting things we don’t want. Lockdown presents many such challenges. At the beginning of the second lockdown here in Scotland, I became bogged down with what I did not want. I was sad and felt isolated. I was bored and missing contact with family and friends. The ongoing restrictions seemed interminable to me.

It is working with the resistance to what we don’t want in our lives that I would love to explore with you this week.

The Infinite Dance of Opposites

I realised that I needed space to explore the resistance I was experiencing. I knew that I must regain my inner settledness, or I would continue to make myself miserable.

I approach this type of exploration of resistance with a process I call the 'Dance of Opposites.' For example, I begin by experiencing what sadness or unhappiness, or disappointment looks like to me. I sit with those feelings for a while. Then I flip over to the opposite pole and explore what being joyful, happy, or satisfied looks like. Again, I just sit with those feelings.

I typically would do this for several iterations and see what comes forward. It can take a bit of courage to begin. Yet, once I get going, I find that I move easily into observing and learning mode rather than feeling stuck. I open to letting ‘what is needed’ arise within me.

The infinity symbol is a beautiful way to visualise this process of 'Dancing with Opposites.'

Thank you to Ryan Stone of unspash for the infinity mage

I love how the image above shows the messiness of this iterative process. My experience is that I would spend time in one pole, and then I would almost naturally flip over to the other side. I would oscillate back and forward for a while. Then all of a sudden, insight would come, and I would understand what was going on for me.

At the end of my exploration of my resistance to the recent lockdown, I saw that I needed a creative outlet that was mine to do. I needed to in a broader relationship with people, and I needed to be learning and expanding my horizons. At that point, I did not know how, but I was clear about what was required.

Contemplation of ‘what is needed’

Having the clarity of what was behind my resistance was the first step for me to come back into balance. The second step was to take the insight I gained from the Dance of Opposites into a contemplation time. I wanted to seek out what I might do about what had been revealed.

Contemplation is my favourite inner stillness practice. What I love is that I am free to think. I love thinking! I remember when I was younger, people would say to me, “You think too much?” I would be somewhat bemused by this because I found thinking such an enjoyable thing to do. What I do recognise is that contemplative thinking is different. It originates from the inner stillness and is gently focussed and expansive. It takes space and time to just be with the topic you want to explore.

Tyninghame Bay near Dunbar in Scotland taken be me:)

I like to be out in nature when I contemplate. Above is Tyninghame Bay, where I can sit by the water and be held by the natural world around me. As I reflect on what is needed, I look for what messages or signs I get from the nature around me. When thoughts come forward, I watch the response within me. I look for how my body feels and if any emotions are arising. I find that just looking around and touching into the beauty around me can open me to new insights.

And so the Sunny Optimist was born that day at Tyninghame. It came so clearly to me, and it felt right. There was a lovely sense of anticipation in my body. I could feel some tears rising. I knew I had found a way to move in my life that would be good for me. I am still a bit surprised that the writing structure every week, combined with knowing people are willing to engage with me, has lifted my spirits so significantly. I feel much more settled with my current life situation and much more optimistic about moving forward.

Thank you for being part of this journey with me.

Questions for this week

And so dear friends, my questions for you this week are:

• Is there any subtle resistance operating that curtails your optimism?

• Might the ‘Dance of Opposites’ combined with ‘Contemplation’ be a way to explore this?

• Do you have a favourite place to ‘be’ outside with the natural world?

As always, I would love to hear from you.

Ann