Greetings, dear friends and family,
When I wake up in the morning, I have a daily practice of checking in with myself to see if anything is needed. Yesterday, I knew there was, and I decided to take some time to explore this. I have a favourite cemetery close to where we live that I visit often. It is well-tended and has a tranquillity that I so appreciate. I love to walk around and read the messages on the headstones. So much love abounds in this space.
And so, I took my notebook, and I sat in contemplation with the energy of the Ancestors. The sunshine was lovely, and there was a gentle breeze. I could feel an opening inside. What came to me was my experience of being ‘othered’. Do you know this concept? It was quite a surprise, at aged 70, to feel that this was part of my life experience over the last two years. Below is a description from the very well mind website that I found helpful.
‘Othering is a phenomenon in which some individuals or groups are defined and labelled as not fitting in within the norms of a social group. It is an effect that influences how people perceive and treat those who are viewed as being part of the in-group versus those who are seen as being part of the out-group. Othering also involves attributing negative characteristics to people or groups that differentiate them from the perceived normative social group’
My experience of being othered arose from not being vaccinated. My husband David had a severe adverse reaction to the 2009 Swine Flu vaccine. So we decided to take the natural immunity route to respond to the virus. It was a personal decision that we did not think too much of initially. It came as such a surprise to become a class of people to be avoided, to angry with, and vilified in some cases.
Life as a Teaching
So whilst my experience pales in comparison to more profound othering, I now have a sense of what it is like to be set apart. My reading has led me to understand that othering often comes from a place of fear and that we are all capable of doing it. Yesterday the Newsletter below came in from Dr Zach Bush. I found it powerful, evocative and was a call to my Soul to find more profound ways to respond to the separation that othering causes.
Now is our moment to take all of this energy, trauma, polarization, and pain within the human experience and channel it in one direction toward our path of healing and co-creative nature. Like the masters of martial arts, we must all understand that there are no opponents in life. If someone appears to be coming at us to take us down, our mastery comes when we realize the redirection of their energy with our flow state can create instant reversal of the opposition into a transformational victory. We can either use opposing force to strike someone, or redirect the energy of conflict into a single motion that brings an end to the conflict. Both energies stand to face one another and bow to one another on the mat. Reconciliation through reverence of one another sends us on to better understand the nature of energy and the power of unification.
His words deeply touch me, and there is so much to explore in them.
The first is to be in what he calls the ‘flow state’. I think this is to be fully in the present moment. It is feeling centred and connected to All of Life. This connectedness is the ‘power of unification’ he speaks of. Where there is no separation, we are All One. When we are in the flow and connected in this way, we can hold a deep appreciation for the other.
There is then the ability to ‘redirect energy’. As I consider this, I can feel a bit of resistance arising in me. I have an energy that I call ‘Dukes-Up’. (Dukes is cockney slang for our hands). It is childlike, dancing around with my fists up as I try to protect myself. I can hear my friend Dirje giggle as I write these words. You know how a scaredy-cat dances around pretending to be brave, LOL!
I realise that there are times when I feel this sense of opposition rising in me. I emotionally put my ‘Dukes Up’, which creates immediate othering. I feel Dr Zach alludes to the story of the Martial Arts teacher being asked by his pupil.
‘Master, why do you never seem to lose your balance?’
The Master smiles and says.
’ It is not that I never lose my balance, more that I recover it quickly’.
I realise that I need to deepen my practice to catch the ‘Dukes Up’ feeling as quickly as possible and look at what I might be othering in the moment. This approach then returns me to the flow state. Then I can bring loving appreciation that then enables this redirection of energy.
Then there is how to find ‘reconciliation through reverence’. This way of being is not a passive state but more an active sensing of what is needed to bring wholeness and balance. By connecting with the heart-mind of the reverence, I am more able to discern right action. I am intrigued to learn more about how this understanding guides my and others’ activism. I am certainly a work in progress. I can feel a real call to learn more about doing this moment by moment by moment.
This has been quite a cathartic newsletter for me to write this week. I started The Sunny Optimist in September 2020 when the second lockdown was announced here in Scotland. My Dukes were Up! I knew I wanted to find a way to stay in contact with family and friends. What a huge gift The Sunny Optimist has turned out to be. I have grown as a person and found a thread of giving back that brings me so much joy each week.
Questions for this Week
My questions for you this week are:
What are your understandings and insights of the concept of othering?
Are there aspects of Zach's words that touch into your experience?
Do you have any energy states that separate you from the flow state?
How do we practice reconciliation through reverence?
As always, I would love to hear from you.
Ann
Dear All, Sunny Optimist Widower here! I joke with Ann about this each Friday but boy is it worth it with these profound contributions from my beautiful Twin!! And from the power and openness of the sharing from each of you. This feeling of being 'othered' by society and even family members has been a learning journey, something I haven't experienced before. I am learning to cope with it. That sense of being controlled by others and not being listened to created a deep emotional response which resulted in me experiencing seriously high blood pressure, a ride in an ambulance to A&E (on two occasions) and medication. How i would have coped if my work & income had been threatened I don't know. I have some small sense of how jewish people, coloured people or gay people have been/ are being treated over the years. Had a trip to england last week where the face mask mandate has been lifted - what a simple sense of freedom. Maybe we will be free in Scotland by Easter. Thanks Ann for this opportunity to share. xx
Wow—such deep wisdom...how powerful to gather one’s self from the feeling of being “othered”, and with compassion and awareness, gently and intentionally hold all in reverence and tenderness. This gives us a sacred doorway to greater love and peace—wordless comfort. Thank you, thank you, dearest wise friend!! (Still giggling at “Dukes Up”, and the thought of an alarmed defensive cat jumping sideways!!!) xxxxx