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Thank you,
Ann
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Greeting Sunny Optimist buddies,
I hope you are all well and enjoying the autumn beauty that surrounds us.
Last week, I looked at how three 'inner world' practices (mindfulness, meditation, and contemplation) nourish our optimism. This week I would like to focus on how mindfulness can build our inner resilience to support our wellbeing.
The essence of mindfulness is to gently and deliberately pay attention to our thoughts and feelings. Do they serve us well? What might be needed? We can often be running on autopilot and not be aware of the impact on us of what we truly think and feel.
The Impact of Technology on our Mindfulness
I love the cartoon above. All of us can appreciate how technology can take us away from the present moment and fill up our time with ease. If we are not careful, the flow, volume, and content of online sources can be overwhelming. They can generate disquiet and discomfort within us that pull us away from our optimism. Mindfulness practices can help.
Working with My Thoughts. (Part 1)
When I first started mindfulness, I was all over the place. I realised that I really liked thinking. It gave me a lot of pleasure. LOL! I enjoyed playing with ideas and concepts and images and … and …….
Like the image below, my thoughts would bounce around in my head. Often I could not settle.
To begin to bring some discipline to my thinking, I would sit quietly and watch my thoughts. I would imagine them as bubbles that I could just pop.
However, there were persistent ones that would not pop.
Every time this happened, I would stop and write them down in my journal. Then I would say to myself, ‘Right captured that thought, now let it go .’ I did this for quite a few months, and the need to write them down diminished over time. More and more of the time, they popped with ease.
Working with my Thoughts. (Part 2)
I started to review the persistent thoughts in my journal. I could see my dreams and aspirations and the judgments I was holding about myself and others. I discovered what I called 'life diminishing thoughts' that recurred quite a lot. These could be personal, for example, around being overweight. Or they could be about a person or a situation that I was not happy with.
One way I found to help me heal these judgment thoughts came from a lovely book by Byron Katie called Loving What Is. Her practice asks me to explore my thoughts one at a time, using the following four questions.
Is it true?
Is it really true?
What am I like with this thought?
What am I like without this thought?
I love this process, and it works. Somehow knowing 'what I am like without this thought' diminished the power of it within me.
Working with my Feelings.
Working with feelings was not easy for me at the beginning. I think I was good at being busy and focused on what was next on my list of things to do. I was quite driven and had a background sense of anxiety that I could not quite put my finger on.
This cartoon made me smile. I can see myself there.
When I was working with the feelings behind my ‘background anxiety’, I came across a process called Focusing by Eugene Gendlin. He explained that we often know that a sensation is there, but it is difficult to grasp as it not yet in words.
The focusing process involves opening a non-judgmental space inside and then calling the feeling there. I would give the sensation a ‘handle’ (like on a jug), hook it, and then reel it into that space. As I developed this mindfulness practice, I became aware of a body sensation (prickling behind my eyes) when I released the feeling. Sometimes, the feeling would leave just by hooking it. Other times I needed to journal, find out more.
Questions for today.
So, my friends, I hope this has been useful today. I have so enjoyed going back through these memories and sharing them with you.
Here are my questions for today:)
What thoughts of gratitude are you holding today that lift your spirits?
What cloudy thoughts might you have that stop your sunny optimism beaming?
How are you feeling in this moment? Is anything needed?
As always, I would love to hear from you.
Ann
Hello, dear Ann. Thank you for sharing Byron Katie's 4 questions. I love them!
Is it really true?" Now, there's one we should all keep asking ourselves. And "what am I without this thought?" is really interesting. I'm going to sit with that one today!
In answer to the those questions. I hope it’s ok to write again.
When the trees are bare. I feel despair
In the shadows of remorse
Yet autumn has so much to share
Winter storms will take their course
But as the evenings all grow dark
I have faith in life’s renewal
That Spring will lighten my sad heart
The sun a golden jewel
I made blunders. But by my shoulder
Friends stand far and wide
Sacrifices can grow bolder
Kindness shall be proud
And I thank so many in my heart
For when I know I go so wrong
When the thunderclouds are sad and dark
A rainbow completes my song
It’s hard to find peace from mistakes. But optimism can work. I was walking back from my mums today. Heard Sibelius symphony no.4 finale. Lifted me. Like tinkly light of xylophones singing and bringing the twinkling glitter of stars through the sadness of a forest soaked with rain and profound remorse.
Sorry so sorry for long post and indulgence with my poem. But please keep bringing hope to everyone. Wishing well. Kindest thoughts. richard