Greetings dear Sunny Optimists,
How are you today? I hope all is well with you as we move through the turning of the seasons. I so enjoy this time of year as we transition from the intensity of summer to the mellowness of autumn. A time of gathering, appreciation, and slowing down as we flow through the cycles of the year.
This week I have had a few poignant conversations with dear friends about living and dying. From a friend in recovery after a stroke who is contemplating her longevity and quality of life. Another friend has recently found out he has a terminal illness and is entering a transition period as he considers options for life care. And then to a dear friend whose companion passed this week.
On Death and Dying
In the holding and listening space I was in this week, I remembered a book called On Death and Dying by Elisabeth Kubler Ross. I appreciate how she weaves her rigourous research with insight on the spiritual dimensions of death and dying. There is a lot to go deeper with here, which I will save for another time. What is profound for me right now is the ground of understanding she details in the book. It so wonderfully legitimises the complexity and suffering that is part of our human experience.
The Change Model captures the stages and range of emotions we can go through when faced with life-changing circumstances. I have introduced this curve to people in business who were facing significant organisational change. It helped them and their managers understand the impact of the change on their wellbeing. I found both for myself and others that what was needed was to hold the downward trajectory of the curve with sensitivity. To be patient and not push for resolution. But to lovingly watch for the experimenting stage to begin as they travel out the other side of the curve. This time of experimenting is a very tender stage and requires us to be a stalwart of encouragement for them.
On Life and Living
What does this have to do with optimism is the question I asked myself this morning as I considered what my friends are experiencing. How can I be of solace to them and hold an authentic, open, and loving space for their journey? The answer appeared in one of Joel and Michelle Levey’s Wisdom at Work daily emails. Below is a poem they shared by Kahil Gibran. He sees that death can only be understood from a connection with life and living. I sense that his words touch us at a soul level, and I offer them with love for wherever you are in your life cycle.
On Death
You would know the secret of death.
But how shall you find it unless you seek it in the heart of life?
If you would indeed behold the spirit of death, open your heart wide unto the body of life.
For life and death are one, even as the river and the sea are one.
In the depth of your hopes and desires lies your silent knowledge of the beyond;
And like seeds dreaming beneath the snow your heart dreams of spring.
Trust the dreams, for in them is hidden the gate to eternity.
For what is it to die but to stand naked in the wind and to melt into the sun?
And what is it to cease breathing, but to free the breath from its restless tides, that it may rise and expand and seek God unencumbered?
Only when you drink from the river of silence shall you indeed sing.
And when you have reached the mountain top, then you shall begin to climb.
And when the earth shall claim your limbs, then shall you truly dance.
Question for this Week
It does not feel needed this week to comment on the text further. Instead, I am called to invite you to settle into wherever you are, to close your eyes and in this moment 'open your heart wide unto the body of life.' Touch into the beauty and majesty of your human experience and consider one question.
What does your heart wide open offer as you explore 'life and death' and 'living and dying'?
Thank you for sharing this journey with me, and as always, I would love to hear from you.
Once again, synchronicity with you. This morning upon waking, before I read your Sunny Opimist (usually I am unable to give it time until Monday), I was feeling sadness, grief. Thinking more, realizing life includes these emotions. Mine now has to do with not being able to be with my son and family in Sweden for over two years now. I tend to do stiff upper lip through these times. Not want to wallow in sadness. But it occurred to me this morning that I needed to feel and allow the sadness. For now.
I also have Gibran’s “The Prophet”. It’s been quite some time since I opened it to that poem. Thank you.
The timing of this Sunny Optimist message is perfect for me. I will spend more time with it today. Once again I have much gratitude for you, my friend.
❤️💜😍 Robyn
I often think one of the most powerful poems I know is “ Do not go gentle into that good night “ by Dylan Thomas. More and more and more I am adamant about the need to rage against the dying of the light.
Music also considers this question and whereas there are a lot of great classics especially which explore the idea of redemption in an eternal life after death I think of the unfinished tenth symphony by Gustav Mahler where it appears that in the lengthy story of the music as it unfolds the composer found that the immortality of love for his wife Alma became the way the composer came to terms with his own terminal illness
Finally one of my favourite symphonies of all time. And written ( just) in my own lifetime Is the magnificent fourteenth symphony of Shostakovich. The composer explained at its premiere in 1969 that the eleven songs it consists of were deliberately chosen on the theme of death to show what he thought presumably by way of contrast life should be. And as such I think that despite its outwardly lugubrious mood that it must be one of the most moving and emotional and ultimately the most life affirming symphony of all. His great protest at death. He said that Death is a terrible event which is to be protested against with all ones might. In this I think my thoughts return to Dylan Thomas.
Music and poetry for me is always such a tremendous joy. And it always makes me cherish and love life more and more and more. Even at its most difficult times. ( well hopefully!!)